About Why Me:
Growing up in a Tough Glasgow Housing Estate was hard enough. When you are born one of five brothers from a low-income family, it makes it tougher, But being different made it hell. I suppose I always knew I was different, but I did not want to be. I learned when I was very young if you think you might be different you hide it. Why Me, Chronicles my life growing up fighting my gay gene. From a very early age I was attracted to other boys, I never understood what I was drawn too; I just had this thing for special pals who I wanted to be my pal only.
As I got older, I realised I liked boys, in a way I was not supposed to; it was a secret I had to keep to myself. Having thoughts like that could cause me a lot of grief, I convinced myself it was a phase, and it would pass. But those thoughts kept on coming, as I grew older.I fought hard against those desires; there was no way I could be gay. There was nothing about me that indicated I could be gay. I played football. I fought. I ran with the gang and loads of girls liked me, and I wanted them.
I was sure as soon as I found a girl who would let me have sex with her these crazy thoughts about doing stuff with other guys would disappear forever, and I would be normal and straight just like all my brothers, cousins and mates.
When I got into my late teens I had girlfriends, and we had sex, but every time I thought I had found the girl to cure me, those horrible thoughts and urges for guys crept back into my life pulling me towards doing things with guys that I did not want to do. I hated myself for giving in to these thoughts and desires, and I kept fighting convinced the next girl I met would cure me.
The girls came and went then I met the love of my life we got married and had a beautiful baby daughter I was convinced I had been cured of those thoughts and urges. They say you can’t change who you are. I tried my hardest not to be gay. I gave it my best shot, I won some of the battles along the way, but in the end, I lost the war. Why Me is the true story of my battle with my gay gene, The girls I used as weapons, the shame, the anger, the hurt and fear as I tried my hardest to fight those urges and desires that haunted my fantasies and thoughts. There was just no way I could be gay, but in the end, I had to accept I was.
I wrote this story in the hope that it might help some other guy or girl going through what I went through because when I searched for answers I found none out there. I also think this would be a good read for those family and friends of those struggling with their sexuality it might help them understand some of what they might be going through, you won’t find all the answers but hopefully, it will help you understand.
I have tried to keep sexual descriptions to a minimum but there is sexual content and swearing throughout this story, if that is something that might offend you, then please don’t read it.
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